Cancer Journal #51 Oct 8

 


Clicking on the Obits


I believe in an afterlife.

Although fuzzy on some particulars. 

I believe it will be right

In the ways that are not right now.

Profoundly good and yet profoundly Other.

An intervening wall, translucent at best.

Any transparency, momentary and surprising,

But enough to plant a permanent appetite for more.


Until then, we have This Place

And a longing This Place will not satisfy.

Still, This Place is what we got, what we know.

Looking at the photos on the obit page, there’s a sense of loss.

Believing in an afterlife does not affect that loss.

Fact is, these folks are gone.  Those personalities extinguished.

If behind a wall in a better place, still gone from here.


Some faces suffused with kindness, others full of chipper goodwill,

Some sober, a hint of self-importance we might find unappealing.

Still, what was, when the picture was taken, is not here now.

This Place is less without them.



Here is a poem I wrote for my writing class. I think it was well received.


Been a while since I've done an entry. Nothing too much to report as far as cancer goes. For September, they did not do a PSA # test. When I called to check, they said this since my numbers have been stable (and presumably low) they would not do the test every month but wait and do it every three months--so early November. Makes me a little uneasy.


Otherwise, I'm feeling very well. So, so rested after a night of sleep which surely is due to high dose Melatonin. I keep on doing personal bests with my fitness program (it's a standard joke with my wife). My coach really scratches to find a best in what I do. Although I laugh, I appreciate his doing that. A little backsliding with my diet but mostly I stay with the program. If I were to get a bad test number, I expect I'd get back on the straight and narrow. The long haul is hard. I do still do Vitamin C infusion.

And I take $12,000 pills every night. Don't taste like they'd cost $12,000.


What I have is not an expectation of death but an expectation of life.




Comments

  1. Jan COctober 17, 2021 at 9:25 AM

    Thanks for sharing your poem, Charlie. Always good to see what your creative juices are bringing out.

    That's so great that you have a trainer you like and who works well with you!

    That's SOME expensive pill!!

    Take good care,
    Jan

    ReplyDelete

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