Cancer Journal

      I've got some comments on what I reported in blog #21.  Was I a little flippant?  Maybe more in the rough draft.  What I really don't want is a pious tone.  These things are hard to write about.  Perhaps I was imprudently candid.  Well, as they say, it's out there now.      One trap I want to avoid is fanaticism.  Some might respond, "Come on!  Finding exit doors out of strongholds is nothing if it's not fanatical!"  All I can do is grin sheepishly and say, "Well, that's the kind of thing we charismatic Christians do."  Speaking of things in the spirit realm is, by necessity, metaphorical/allegorical.  When I pray like this, I have a flow of words come out of me that I am only half choosing.  I speak of fluency in the posting.  I am much more fluent when I'm praying than I would be in ordinary conversation.  I attribute this to tapping into the flow of the Holy Spirit. I mentioned m...

      I'm in the Mayo Clinic Cancer Center again.  I just had my blood drawn and will find out later this morning from the oncologist what my PSA number is.  I'm an old hand at this place.  The receptionist calls me by my first name as I approach the counter and doesn't need any identifying information such as my birth date (they do get it before they draw my blood).  There are two burned out ceiling lights in the waiting room that have been that way for at least a couple months.  I'm not criticizing.  Maintenance staff surely has better things to do than haul in a tall ladder or drive a lift truck to replace the bulbs.  The lighting in the room is fine.  I mention only because the place is familiar.  I could tell you about the carpet too.       Things have changed some from my initial impression (blog #3).  There are plenty of old folks but plenty more who are middle aged and have a brisk step.  T...

      I have some things to say about praying, some more related to cancer than others.  Right now, I am anticipating that it will cover several blog entries.  For those who have no great interest in what I have to say about prayer (which is fine), I'll give you a heads up in the topic entry to the blog.  You can pass them over.     Let me say one thing before I launch into what I have to say.  I'm told that there are quite a few people praying for my healing, some I don't even know, in other parts of the country.  My general inclination is to stay out of platitudeland.  I don't quite know how to express my thanks and gratitude for that prayer without expressing it as a platitude.  But maybe there should be more important things than making sure I don't set foot in that dread place.  So anyway, for those who have been praying for me, both readers of this blog and anyone else, I do want to express my thanks and gratitude....

      Today, I had finished up a course of radiation treatment.  There were 20 zaps in all, four weeks, five times a week.  During the third week, I believe I had overall fatigue and lack of initiative.  Otherwise, I went through the process without effect, at least so far as I can tell.  I'm not as tuned into my body as some others are.  I could be just missing it.     I was given a Certificate of   Completion, suitable for framing which I do not anticipate doing.  It noted though that I went through treatment with "the highest degree of courage, determination and good nature."  I don't know about the courage and determination but I do like that they celebrate good nature.        I also got to ring a celebration bell they have mounted to the wall in the waiting room.    Nice big sound that comes out of that bell.  A group of the staff that came out applauded after I rang t...

                           Do You Hate Cancer?  I ask this of a woman with whom I have a nice rapport. We share a treatment  room at Spero Wellness Clinic,  Both receiving intravenous Vitamin C infusions.  There’s a lot cancer patients have to talk about. Yack for a couple of hours and still more to say. Things to ask, things to tell. She says that she does hate cancer. I believe her; she speaks with such conviction. To have your health robbed, hatred is the right response. I tell her I don’t hate cancer. I feel about it as football players feel about their opponents. Adversaries, yes but when the game is over, Meeting at mid-field, hugging, affection in their eyes As they share a few words. So far, I’ve been beating cancer. Gentle feelings toward an opponent who’s losing. But if things go bad, if cancer makes a second half comeback And I get laid low, things could change. Emotions go har...