Cancer Journal

 Good news first;  my PSA is too low to be detectable.  Despite the monotonous regularity, it is good news and something that I am grateful for.  Cancer is a disease that makes a counterattack but not yet.  My sister-in-law, Judy, has been found to have cancer throughout her body and has been told she has three to six months of life left.  She is 82, ten years older than my wife but the age difference diminishes with the advancing years.  She lives in Sun City Az.  My wife was there for a week or so about a month ago.  Judy wants her to come back.  Anyway, it has brought to mind the other side of cancer, the swift and  lethal foe who has not mercy. My three month appointment this week was with my Oncologist, not the PA whom I ordinarily see.  He reported that his father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  He asked whether his father could read my blog.  I readily gave my assent.  So, if you are there, docto...

 Jan Carroll spoke to me with some asperity* regarding the fact that I have not done a blog entry in a while.  And I have an appropriate piece of writing to include.  But first, my PSA number remains too low to be detectable.  I go in again later this month to have the number again but am expecting the same monotonously good news. I joined a cancer support group a while back that meets twice a month.  It is for Stage IV cancer survivors who have outlived the time we were told we have yet to live at the time of the metastatic diagnosis.  We call the group the "Long Haulers" which I find to be an appealing name.  Anyway, I wrote a piece about us for the local arts and entertainment newspaper that I have not heard back on.  The editor that I deal with doesn't read his emails.  I get his attention by submitting a handwritten note asking him to go back on such and such a date to have a look.  There is no rush on this one since the group does ...

  My PSA level was recently checked.  Again, too low to be detectable.   I also wrote another poem for my writing group.  Here it is:                                              Blue Roses                  We don’t have them but I fear they are coming. Some ambitious horticulturalist will CRISPR snip a bit of forget-me-not and jam it into the double helix of a rose’s DNA, Creating a weird pretzel that nature never would have shaped. The plant world does not do blue flowers much. Hydrangea blue is not convincing, edging into blueland and then retreating. leaving just a tinge. Otherwise, the list is short;  blue bells, forget-me-nots, morning glories. Blue bells and forget-me-nots, plenty blue...

It has been a while since I have had a posting. Actually I tried a while back, trying to paste something I had written for my writing group but the right hand margin ran off to infinity and I could not figure out how to reel it in. I stopped my efforts, thinking that maybe it would be better next time I tried. I was not planning on next time going this long. The piece I was going to post was, in the meantime, accepted for publication by Volume One, the local arts and entertainment periodical. So, instead of trying to reproduce it, I am offering a link:  https://volumeone.org/articles/2024/01/10/333488-soapbox-night-light  My wife and I are in Arizona now. We have timeshare points that will expire if we don't use them up and then, it is very nice to be south of Wisconsin in January. Right now we are by Tucson (Oro Valley) where the sun is shining and temps in the mid 70s. A fat cat life we live. Not quite what I feel comfortable with but the adjustment is something I a...

 I have entered The Window of Death.  Sounds momentous, ominous, doesn't it?  Especially with the caps and the definite article.    I use the term with some but not total irony.  When I was first diagnosed with stage four cancer that was of an aggressive nature ( 8 on the 10 point Gleason scale), I was told that I had three to seven years to live.  That was three years, one month ago.  Shortly after, I wrote the following poem:                                        Steaming Into Port    I see the ship up over the horizon  Its presence and position not obscured by fog.  Its progress imperceptible except that   After not watching, it’s bigger when I look back.   Not much question where it’s heading   It’s coming, straight line, right here.   The Good Ship Mortality.   It concentrat...

I had my PSA checked again today.  Again, it was too low to be detectable. I have joined a cancer support group that meets twice a month.  It is for those who have survived cancer for quite a while--we call ourselves long haulers.  It's been three years for me which qualifies me as a long hauler but I'm the shortest hauler there.  5-6 of us sit around in a circle.  The talk about our cases, other's cases, how kids have handled the news (it grows them up fast) insurance complications etc.  There is plenty to talk about.  Even though my case is the most trouble-free there, I do have things to say.  Universals that resonate for all.  I am happy to participate in my community, albeit, one that is a secondary part of my life. One of the members advised that we listen to "It's Okay" by Nightbirde.  The song is on YouTube.  A live performance is there  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU3Avwch3gw but also a recording with the lyrics s...